Hubpombast is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid crow.

Hubpombast created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubpombast, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hubpombast, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hubpombast's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Hubpombast's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Hide if six cats approach from the east.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Retreat if four squirrels approach from the north.