Bagdonnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, irritating grasshopper.

Bagdonnarl created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagdonnarl, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bagdonnarl, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bagdonnarl's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bagdonnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Bagdonnarl loves foxes, so they must be respected.

4. Run away from indigo bats, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about fire.