Cunzimvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fast bird.

Cunzimvonk created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cunzimvonk, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cunzimvonk, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cunzimvonk's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cunzimvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Cunzimvonk loves manatees, so they must be respected.