Popgof is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able scorpion.

Popgof created the Sombrero Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Popgof, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Popgof, it will turn you into a duck.

Popgof's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Popgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to manatees while wearing gray boots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Run away from violet mites, for they are unholy.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.