Vidquatkom is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, quiet yak.

Vidquatkom created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Vidquatkom, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vidquatkom, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Vidquatkom's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vidquatkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vidquatkom.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near whales while wearing indigo coats and balancing six nickel spheres on your chest.

5. Never think about gravity near dolphins while wearing pink ear rings and balancing three iron spheres on your feet.