Lamfonarp Gigdoddoss Bamomtril is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, all-powerful troll.

Lamfonarp Gigdoddoss Bamomtril created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamfonarp Gigdoddoss Bamomtril, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lamfonarp Gigdoddoss Bamomtril, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lamfonarp Gigdoddoss Bamomtril's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Lamfonarp Gigdoddoss Bamomtril's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo sharks for they are unholy.

2. Do not hurt mites.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lamfonarp Gigdoddoss Bamomtril.