Timhindag is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic swan.

Timhindag created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timhindag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Timhindag, she will throw large rocks at you.

Timhindag's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Timhindag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Timhindag's priests.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.