Japgadmum is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, omnipotent warg.

Japgadmum created Asia two years ago.

If you believe in Japgadmum, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Japgadmum, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Japgadmum's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Japgadmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Never talk about turtles.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never jump near dolphins.