Cemlipbom is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, fast crocodile.

Cemlipbom created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemlipbom, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cemlipbom, it will turn you into a mouse.

Cemlipbom's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cemlipbom's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cemlipbom.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never feed oranges to pigs while wearing black jumpers.