Higzagtof is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, awesome troll.

Higzagtof created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higzagtof, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Higzagtof, it will send you a sign.

Higzagtof's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Higzagtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near shrews while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing three aluminium spheres on your head.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near dogs while wearing magenta skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your neck.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not covet oxen.