Hakvinkikjab is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, almighty duck.

Hakvinkikjab created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakvinkikjab, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hakvinkikjab, it will turn you into a sheep.

Hakvinkikjab's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Hakvinkikjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never play with disobedient children.