Ortnurtquat is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, ill-tempered goose.

Ortnurtquat created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortnurtquat, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ortnurtquat, he will turn you into a dog.

Ortnurtquat's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Ortnurtquat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Ortnurtquat.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never feed limes to nematodes while wearing orange shirts.