Hogdut is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, omnipotent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hogdut created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogdut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hogdut, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hogdut's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Hogdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near geese while wearing green coats and balancing five gold spheres on your chest.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near squirrels while wearing black shoes and balancing seven copper spheres on your head.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not stand on grass.