Satminpag is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, all-knowing centipede.

Satminpag created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satminpag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Satminpag, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Satminpag's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Satminpag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Satminpag.

2. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.