Loopvolbin is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, competent warg.

Loopvolbin created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Loopvolbin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Loopvolbin, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Loopvolbin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Loopvolbin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near voles while wearing violet shorts and balancing nine zinc spheres on your back.

3. Erect eight copper sculptures of Loopvolbin on top of important buildings.

4. Do not hurt eagles.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.