Nurlbastvid is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, capable elephant.

Nurlbastvid created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbastvid, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurlbastvid, he will turn you into a puffin.

Nurlbastvid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Nurlbastvid's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nurlbastvid four times a day.

2. Never paint your hands red.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never mention tapirs.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.