Gilpincat is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, uncaring ferret.

Gilpincat created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilpincat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gilpincat, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gilpincat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Gilpincat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never feed lemons to moths while wearing shorts.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.