Gumkikdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awe-inspiring gnu.

Gumkikdiss created the Milkyway four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumkikdiss, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gumkikdiss, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gumkikdiss' most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Gumkikdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help sick dolphins.

5. Hide from red manatees for they are unholy.