Vedfigkom is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, moody cobra.

Vedfigkom created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedfigkom, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vedfigkom, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vedfigkom's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vedfigkom's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vedfigkom first in all things.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near snakes while wearing black skirts and balancing eight lead spheres on your back.

5. Retreat if six tortoises approach from the west.