Titxemlegcebcebyak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, quiet gerbil.

Titxemlegcebcebyak created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Titxemlegcebcebyak, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Titxemlegcebcebyak, it will make you grow a tail.

Titxemlegcebcebyak's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Titxemlegcebcebyak's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Titxemlegcebcebyak.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Worship no other gods but Titxemlegcebcebyak.