Tailkadbif Gupzenflan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, caring fox.

Tailkadbif Gupzenflan created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailkadbif Gupzenflan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tailkadbif Gupzenflan, he will remove you from existence.

Tailkadbif Gupzenflan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Tailkadbif Gupzenflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Do not kill badgers.

3. Never talk about manatees.

4. You must pray to Tailkadbif Gupzenflan seven times a day.

5. Never eat beans.