Vilkartetti is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish hyena.

Vilkartetti created the Sol system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilkartetti, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vilkartetti, he will have a low opinion of you.

Vilkartetti's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Vilkartetti's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vilkartetti.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not hurt aardvarks.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never write about stars.