Shavmatbim is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish alligator.

Shavmatbim created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavmatbim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Shavmatbim, he will turn you into a sheep.

Shavmatbim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Shavmatbim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Shavmatbim on top of all buildings.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Shavmatbim.

4. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Shavmatbim on top of important buildings.

5. Pray towards the west.