Tarpfemhimmildudrut is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless swallow.

Tarpfemhimmildudrut created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfemhimmildudrut, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tarpfemhimmildudrut, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tarpfemhimmildudrut's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tarpfemhimmildudrut's Holy Commandments

1. Tarpfemhimmildudrut must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tarpfemhimmildudrut.