Cetbastwab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind goblin.

Cetbastwab created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbastwab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cetbastwab, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cetbastwab's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cetbastwab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Cetbastwab loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink alcohol.