Sawstipmuttapguppibdavdam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous scorpion.

Sawstipmuttapguppibdavdam created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sawstipmuttapguppibdavdam, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sawstipmuttapguppibdavdam, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Sawstipmuttapguppibdavdam's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Sawstipmuttapguppibdavdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Ants are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear turquoise jumpers.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink alcohol.