Lakfutpib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, able hyena.

Lakfutpib created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakfutpib, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lakfutpib, she will send minions to preach to you.

Lakfutpib's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Lakfutpib's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Lakfutpib four times a day.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always obey Lakfutpib's priests.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.