Fenhugstik is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, omniscient crow.

Fenhugstik created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Fenhugstik, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fenhugstik, it will throw large rocks at you.

Fenhugstik's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Fenhugstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near bats while wearing mauve shorts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not hurt badgers.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.