Bepkabpog is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, competent manatee.

Bepkabpog created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepkabpog, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bepkabpog, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bepkabpog's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bepkabpog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bepkabpog first in all things.

2. Never leap near monkeys.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Never talk about hamsters.

5. Feed all hungry sharks.