Zignatkar Loopkomxuck is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic jellyfish.

Zignatkar Loopkomxuck created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Zignatkar Loopkomxuck, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zignatkar Loopkomxuck, she will not invite you to parties.

Zignatkar Loopkomxuck's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Zignatkar Loopkomxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. Never chant near dogs.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must never eat rice.

5. Never talk about stars.