Kopbonkarn is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish pigeon.

Kopbonkarn created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopbonkarn, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kopbonkarn, it will jump up and down on your head.

Kopbonkarn's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Kopbonkarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always treat snails with great respect.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not stand on grass.