Bessstiprut is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, all-powerful slug.

Bessstiprut created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bessstiprut, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bessstiprut, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bessstiprut's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bessstiprut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always look after injured whales.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.