Wigtomtinditquarttapsugkem is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful clam.

Wigtomtinditquarttapsugkem created Mount Everest four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigtomtinditquarttapsugkem, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wigtomtinditquarttapsugkem, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Wigtomtinditquarttapsugkem's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Wigtomtinditquarttapsugkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Wigtomtinditquarttapsugkem must be the most important thing in your life.