Hadgebart Bimfetbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthinking bat.

Hadgebart Bimfetbeg created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadgebart Bimfetbeg, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hadgebart Bimfetbeg, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hadgebart Bimfetbeg's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Hadgebart Bimfetbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair pink.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Always help whales.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.