Tamcipved is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-assured crocodile.

Tamcipved created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamcipved, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tamcipved, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Tamcipved's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tamcipved's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white coats.

2. Do not eat wheat.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.