Wotarnbem is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, compassionate alligator.

Wotarnbem created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Wotarnbem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wotarnbem, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Wotarnbem's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Wotarnbem's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Wotarnbem.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Wotarnbem on top of all buildings.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Do not covet oxen.