Flynanhak is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, humorless centipede.

Flynanhak created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flynanhak, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flynanhak, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flynanhak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Flynanhak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never write about stars.