Largdubfosscim is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody swallow.

Largdubfosscim created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largdubfosscim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Largdubfosscim, he will cry a lot.

Largdubfosscim's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Largdubfosscim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Largdubfosscim.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near mice while wearing mauve shorts and balancing eight gold spheres on your face.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Largdubfosscim on top of all buildings.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.