Libfabstik Vidgoffon is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, stupid turtle.

Libfabstik Vidgoffon created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Libfabstik Vidgoffon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Libfabstik Vidgoffon, he will laugh at you.

Libfabstik Vidgoffon's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Libfabstik Vidgoffon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine goats approach from the west.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not kill rats.

4. Always obey Libfabstik Vidgoffon's priests.

5. Do not eat grapes.