Tagveghogapp is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish pig.

Tagveghogapp created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Tagveghogapp, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagveghogapp, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tagveghogapp's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tagveghogapp's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta geese, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.