Kinfasquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, conceited fly.

Kinfasquaf created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinfasquaf, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kinfasquaf, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kinfasquaf's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Kinfasquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always wear black.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Kinfasquaf in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not make images of living things.