Tanyarlbid is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, vain beaver.

Tanyarlbid created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanyarlbid, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tanyarlbid, he will turn you into a dog.

Tanyarlbid's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tanyarlbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near voles while wearing red boots and balancing three silicon spheres on your feet.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Tanyarlbid in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics.