Mobgudkab is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, temperamental narwhal.

Mobgudkab created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobgudkab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mobgudkab, it will turn you into a rock.

Mobgudkab's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Mobgudkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Mobgudkab loves goats, so they must be respected.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not take Mobgudkab's name in vain.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.