Stragladstip is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, fast eagle.

Stragladstip created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragladstip, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stragladstip, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Stragladstip's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Stragladstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

2. Never paint your arms violet.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not jump in public.