Bapjanzig is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, all-knowing unicorn.

Bapjanzig created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapjanzig, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bapjanzig, it will turn you into a worm.

Bapjanzig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bapjanzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks in need.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Bapjanzig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.