Fosstagmut is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, impressive mongoose.

Fosstagmut created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fosstagmut, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fosstagmut, it will try to impress you with trees.

Fosstagmut's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fosstagmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Hide if six dogs approach from the west.