Bopcutjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, thoughtless aardvark.

Bopcutjarn created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bopcutjarn, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bopcutjarn, it will throw large rocks at you.

Bopcutjarn's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bopcutjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bopcutjarn.

5. Always help sick aardvarks.