Godquafarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, slow narwhal.

Godquafarp created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Godquafarp, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Godquafarp, she will turn you into a duck.

Godquafarp's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Godquafarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always obey Godquafarp's priests.

4. Never run near ants.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.