Bessmuttal is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, weak salamander.

Bessmuttal created silver six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessmuttal, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bessmuttal, she will turn you into a rock.

Bessmuttal's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bessmuttal's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. You must never eat carrots.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Do not kill horses.

5. Never hurt sheep.