Sithatmifton is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, impressive seal.

Sithatmifton created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sithatmifton, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Sithatmifton, she will try to impress you with trees.

Sithatmifton's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Sithatmifton's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about spacetime.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Sithatmifton on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Do not listen to music.